Extra Weight Linked to Surgery Survival; Restaurants Prepare the Celebratory Transfats

The medical world was rocked today when it was announced that the extra weight Americans are so fond of legislating into their children may actually be good for surgery. According to the LA Times, "people with a normal body mass index or who are underweight may be more likely to die after an operation." Well that's great news, especially considering all the surgery we'll need from maintaining such high BMIs. So fatten up America, let's show those skinny jerks how we do surgery!


Psst, skinny jerks. BMI doesn't mean anything; don't feel so bad.