This Holiday Season, Hold the Batteries

This is serious folks: those flat circular batteries that power kids' toys and small electronics may be bad for your health. So no matter how tempting they may look, surrounded by rich milk chocolate and gently dipped in a colorful candy coating, just pass the candy dish along. And tell your Great Aunt Marie to hold off on her homemade holiday caramel and alkaline cheese cake this year; we'll just have apple. And please, please, for the love of all that's good, do not put out the rum balls soaked in the Captain's Special Nickel Cadmium Spiced brand - only use the healthier "drinkin' rum" Grandpy makes in his RV bathtub. (Grammy makes him keep it out there on account of all the turpentine smelling fumes making her curlers fall out.)







No word on the nutritional value of double A's.

Dean

Dean lives in a modest one-bedroom apartment with his dear wife and television. He studies and performs comedy here and there and is a big fan of wordplay, swordplay and pressing play.

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