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Demagoguery 101

Recently, Yahoo! News, the paragon of journalistic excellence, sat in on a plenary session between the Republican Governors Association and strategist Frank Luntz. For those of you not in the political know, Luntz specializes in how you can say the exact same thing with different wording, and make it palatable for a gullible and fearful voting constituency. Here's my interpretation of the 10 talking point changes he offered (It would probably help if you read the linked article first)

1. Don't say Capitalism - Noone really likes Ayn Rand anymore, just look at how bad the new Atlas Shrugged movie did.

2. Equate the government with Robin Hood - I don't know about this one Luntz; I don't think too many people would look at the Kardashians or the Real Housewives and say, "Gosh, look at those hardworking Americans! We shouldn't be taking money from them. Where would she get the money for her next sphincter bleaching?"

3. Don't say 'middle class' or 'upper class', say 'hardworking taxpayer'. Make the family earning <30k a year think that the dude with a Beamer and penthouse suite is in the same economic boat.

4. Lie to people about their 'career' prospects in this economy.

5. Accuse the government of wasting money instead of spending it while enjoying your lifetime pension and health benefits paid with that same money.

6. Don't compromise! - This is 'Merica and we'd rather see the unemployment rate hit double digits again before we give into those Pinko Liberals!

7. Patronize the Occupy protestors. And then tell them how you plan to give more tax breaks to businesses and eliminate capital gains tax and make up some way as to how that will help them in the future.

8. Start throwing out the term 'job creators' like it's candy in the hope that people forgot what the verb 'create' actually means.

9. Don't ask anyone to sacrifice, only Yahweh can do that, and he'll usually call 'Sike!' before you actually kill your son.

10. Displace the blame, it's what we do.

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  1. Btw, shout out to Ben for bringing this to my attention.

  2. Wait - they do sphincter bleaching? Two questions: how much and do they do frosted tips?

  3. Frosted tips? This ain't the mid 90's JTT. Everyone knows to get their taint-hair styled in the Bieber Pixie cut.