That's right folks in case you missed it, at Saturday's four-thousandth Republican Presidential Debate, the candidates played another exciting round of Waterboarding: Torture/Not Torture. Just when you thought the game was decided after both parties' nominees selected Torture in 2008, the current crop of GOP hopefuls brings it back from the brink of death. Hey, that's not unlike waterboarding itself! Here's how the exciting match took place:
Pizza chain CEO Herman Cain came out quick with a deferred judgement to the military - apparently forgetting that Constitutionally, the President is the head of the military. Then in a surprise turn, Cain offered a last-second retraction of that deference and selected Not Torture.
Not to be outdone, Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann followed-up with a definitive affirmation of the effectiveness of the technique, selecting Not Torture as well. Then, for an added flourish hammered the current President with a barrage of acronymic capital letters.
Wasting no time, Congressman Ron Paul saw Bachmann's letters and raised her the three I's. Illegal, boom! Immoral, bam! And Impractical, bang! For the unambiguous Torture selection.
Leaping to Paul's aide and brandishing both the Soft Walk of Pride and the Big Stick of Values, former Governor John Huntsman just edged out a harried rebuttal attempt by the Congresswoman, to coolly cap the game with his selection of Torture.
Oh folks, this was a match for the ages and when all was said and done the score stood 2 for subjecting people to simulated drownings and 2 for democracy. But for the tie-breaker we go to previous Republican Presidential Nominee, John McCain:
"Very disappointed by statements at SC GOP debate supporting waterboarding. Waterboarding is torture."
That's all she wrote ladies and gentlemen; democracy it is. I'm Skip Fearmonger saying - keep your head dry!
(Source: CBS News)
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